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Three decades ago I began my first experiment in Conversational Intelligence, I was hired by Union Carbide to work with 17 high-powered sales executives in danger of losing a bid for a key contract. My job was to figure out how they could raise their game and beat the other seven competitors.
For two weeks I had them role-play potential conversations with “customers” and charted what they said. The patterns were clear: The executives used “telling statements” 85% of the time, leaving only 15% for questions. And almost all the questions they asked were actually statements in disguise. They were talking and talking, trying to bring their counterparts around to their point of view—all the time thinking that they were still conducting good, productive conversations.
Many of us act as though we all see the same reality, yet the truth is we don’t. Human beings have cognitive biases, or blind spots. Blind spots are ways our mind becomes blocked from seeing reality as it is — blinding us from seeing the real truth about ourselves in relation to others. Once we form a conclusion, we become blind to alternatives, even if they are right in front of their eyes.
Social psychologist Emily Pronin, along with colleagues Daniel Lin and Lee Ross at Princeton University’s Department of Psychology, created the term “bias blind spots,” named after the visual blind spot.
To create change, courageous leaders jump in and embrace the process as an opportunity. They also create the space for open communication and collaboration with their teams. In the previous three steps, you learned to recognize and release old baggage filled with toxic experiences that negatively undermine and denigrate relationships, and replace them with new meanings that positively uplift and inspire relationships — empowering a new sense of optimism and effectiveness.
Read more: 2 Strategies for Reframing to Make Positive Change
Are your people afraid?
I’m not asking if you are a bully or a bad boss, or about the fear about being punished for a well-thought-out plan or product launch that fails. I’m talking about something more visceral: anxiety caused by the concern that something drastic — layoff, firing, pay cut or demotion—will happen.
Read more: Are your people afraid? How to minimize fear and maximize trust
The more we talk about change, the more we talk about all the problems and challenges that can emerge – resulting in negative mindsets which trigger “fear hormones” and “threat networks” in our brains. No wonder change is so difficult.
Read more: 3 Effective Strategies for Changing a Workplace Culture
Subcategories
Harvard Business Review
Judith E. Glaser has joined other business bloggers at Harvard Business Review to discuss a variety of business topics including managing people, innovation, leadership, and more.
The Huffington Post
Judith E. Glaser brings her leadership expertise to this prolific destination for news, blogs and original content offering coverage of US politics, entertainment, style, world news, technology and comedy.
Entrepreneur
No matter what the path, the entrepreneurial journey always begins with a mindset. That's why Entrepreneur delivers distinctive content on every road taken by the independent thinkers, builders and leaders driving economies across the world. Judith E. Glaser joins other thought leaders to discuss, enhance and develop the entrepreneurial journey through Conversational Intelligence.
Psychology Today
Commentary, Research and News that cover all aspects of Human Behavior, from the workings of the brain, to relationships and the larger cultural forces that influence our decisions.
Excellence Essentials
Month after month, the foremost minds on management and leadership share their dynamic high-quality leadership content. Excellence Essentials consists of three publications: Leadership Excellence, Personal Excellence and Sales and Service Excellence. By constantly publishing the best ideas from experienced consultants, trainers, and business leaders, the magazines are shaping organizations throughout the world. Below are issues featuring articles by and awards for Judith E. Glaser.