Source: Creating WE: Change –Thinking to WE Thinking and Build a Healthy Thriving Organization (Judith E. Glaser)

Every day you have choices to make, and important choices will either send you into a fatal spiral (an unconscious, self-sabotaging behavioral pattern that you unknowingly create) or they will equip you for being a WE-centric leader.

The more you think about how to become a WE-centric leader the more you are priming yourself to see the crossroad choices you will face as you reach each potentially dangerous or opportunistic intersection. Think about how you interact with people at work now. Do you get caught in the fatal spirals driven by fear that cause you to retreat into your Comfort Zone, or are you focusing on achieving your aspirations and building support for vital spirals to emerge?

Vital spirals emerge when individuals work together to achieve audacious goals. It’s when individuals feel like they have bonded together and the energy of each one energizes the whole. It’s like being in a WE-zone that seems to have an unending source of power to propel the team forward. The result is what I call an arc of innovation. The team leaps forward, exceeding expectations. It’s a powerful, energetic feeling that activates our best performances.

It’s easy to get caught in fatal spirals. They suck you in. Fearing what we don’t know is a powerful motivator to freeze, hide, or give up—to retreat, go into your Comfort Zone, and stay there. Instead, help yourself and others become WE-centric leaders and focus on what you want to create in the world, rather than what you don’t want to risk losing.

Adopt a new way of looking at your role at work, at your ability to lead, and at how you can create conditions for mutual success with others. Aspirations are our North Star. They help us discover what we love to do, what we hope to become, and what we are put on this planet to bring to the world. As we make space for our own growth aspirations to flourish, we expand the life force for everyone.

Try This!

When we call something a fear, we trigger our own “fear habit patterns.” We avoid, we withdraw, and we tell ourselves we can’t do it. The following situations call for courageous conversations. Identify your fears and release them. How might you transform each of these situations into a positive experience?

Letting an employee who has not met your expectations know how she needs to improve.

Comfort Zone: Wait until the end of the year and don’t give her a raise.
Stepping Out: Let her know how to achieve the high standards you hold for her.

Handling criticism and confrontation where you may have to be vulnerable in front of others.

Comfort Zone: Fear of failure and of looking foolish in front of others.
Stepping Out: Take risks; experiment and learn important lessons that will help you and others be successful in the future.

Pushing back on others when they don’t see your point of view.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Handling difficult issues with interpersonal relationships in your workplace.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Pushing yourself to take risks by speaking up about what you believe in.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Expressing your anger and disappointment with others.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Breaking out of the pack

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Sharing what you know when it’s different from others’ points of view.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Speaking up and saying what’s on your mind, anticipating potential conflicts that doing so might create.

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Challenging the status quo

Comfort Zone (your answer):
Stepping Out (your answer):

Break Through Belief Obstacles

Sometimes, we can step out of our Comfort Zones and create breakthoughs in our lives by reframing “belief obstacles.” Here are seven belief obstacles to Creating WE. See which ones apply to you and then apply the reframing wisdom for your transformation.

Co-creating

Belief Obstacle: As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned there are places I can’t go. I’ve learned that telling the truth, being honest, and trusting others can get me in trouble. I’ve learned that politicking is the only way to survive. I exclude people to protect myself from getting hurt. Reframe: Co-creating is about believing that you are uniquely equipped to learn how to navigate “difficult” organizational spaces by interacting with others in a positive way and building a sense of community. Learning how to establish trust, honor, and respect of others and to include others in your future is an artful skill that expands the capacity of the organization and yourself. Honor your ability for being inclusive.

Humanizing – Being a Real Human Being

Belief Obstacle: When people discover who I really am, they will see all of my shortcomings. I therefore must only reveal myself when I am powerful or at my best; otherwise they won’t appreciate me.

Reframe: Humanizing is about believing that you and others are unique human beings, with special gifts to contribute to your family, your work environment, and your community. Unfolding your humanity is a Journey of Discovery of appreciation. Honor it and the wisdom it brings.

Belief Obstacle: When difficulties stand in the way of what I want or dream about, I often step back from wanting and give up trying.

Reframe: Aspiring, by its very nature, envisions more than simply settling for what is adequate. Having outrageous aspirations is about believing in the potential that resides within and holding that passion in front of you as you are climbing the mountain. Recognize the power that aspiring to an optimal future brings.

Navigating – Being open to share your wisdom

Belief Obstacle: Sometimes I believe that when I share what I know, I become less powerful and lose my uniqueness. When I give away what makes me the best, I lose my edge. I give up my identity.

Reframe: Navigating is about believing that you can become part of a community and expand power and influence by sharing what you know. When you offer to integrate and share with others, you become part of a process of expanding power and influence, which in return enables you to gain even more from the process. Sharing success builds more success and hope.

Generating – Being open to innovate and evolve

Belief Obstacle: The world is changing at such a rapid rate that sometimes I become fearful and hold on to my own perspective because it is the one thing that I know and feel I can be certain of.

Reframe: Generating is about believing that the world is in constant evolution and transformation. For you to sing with the potential of the universe you need to move from trying to persuade others of your point of view to challenging what you know—and thus becoming a catalyst for transformation at every level. See and feel the transformational power of catalyzing.

Expressing - Listening to Your Inner Wisdom

Belief Obstacle: Sometimes when I join a community, I feel that it’s safer to accept reality as others see it. Deferring to authority has its rewards.

Reframe: Expression is about intentionally finding and listening to your own inner voice of wisdom and learning how to share it and express it, and not being frightened when your point of view differs from others. Intentionally learning how to express yourself in a larger context of expansion, rather than from conflict, empowers everyone. Honor the insights that come from the synergy of your heart and your mind.

Synchronizing – Connecting Energy

Belief Obstacle: My power comes from what I know and see. The physical world is reality. That is what I see and trust.

Reframe: Synchronizing enables us to value not only that which we know and see but also that which is outside of our control and purview. Embracing the belief that colleagues have something valuable to contribute allows us to synchronize with one another and achieve a higher purpose—we create something of bigger value; we tap into a more powerful energy and wisdom and open up wonderful possibilities that don’t yet exist.

Do Alone or with Others Exercise

You can do this exercise on your own or with partners. It’s valuable to share aspirations with others because it helps you affirm your commitment to action. The following diagram will give you an opportunity to draw out how you think about your Comfort Zone. On the next page please fill in the chart. The goal is for you to see where your edges are in life, what you are holding on to, and what lies on the other side. These are the places where breakthroughs will occur for you.

Step 1: Explore the following areas. Identify situations in each, and place specific issues in either your Comfort Zone (the center) or your Desire (the outer ring). Remember: Desires are aspirations waiting to be born. Consider categories such as these:

• Big Audacious Goals
• Business Challenges
• Aspirations
• Leadership
• Business Growth
• Opportunities

Step 2: Identify the challenge you (or your team) are facing in each area.

Step 3: Identify three key steps you can take to move forward in each area.

Step 4: Identify three key resources you can rely on to move forward in each area.

Step 5: Identify three metrics for success: What result will give you the greatest satisfaction? How will you know when you are successful? How you will celebrate the milestones?

Step 6: Remember to repeat the steps again and stretch your aspirations.

WE-aving It All Together

Working on your deepest character flaws may make you angry with yourself or may even make you unhappy. In these instances, a coach can be helpful to you during times of change. There is a new form of coaching called “organizational coaching.” It starts with coaching for the leaders, yet the content of the coaching is to help leaders expand their point of view from I-centric to WE-centric, which opens the space for mutual growth.

Coaches can be external coaches—like I am—or they can be internal coaches or consultants who are hired on a full-time basis to help the organization with its growth initiatives. Whether internal or external, coaches can help the organization raise its consciousness and facilitate a growth process for discovering potential—at the individual, team, and organizational levels.

Coaches can reinvigorate organizations for the journey ahead and show organizations how to grow into their aspirational potential. Desire drives development and, working together with a skilled coach, an organization can change it’s growth trajectory, its business and, in some cases, the industry. Whether the coach is an internal coach, a peer coach, or an external coach—he or she can help create a powerful roadmap for success. Most of, all coaches can provide executives and organizations with deep insights on Creating WE.